A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I want is dick and wine.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
