So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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