I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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