Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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