I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
