Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
