nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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