i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
