Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize