are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
