Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
