I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
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Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
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whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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