yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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