i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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