shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
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Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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