i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
