i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
