i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
