check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
birth control should be required to get into college
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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