...so i touched it.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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