i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
