If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
