Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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