listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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