how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
