I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
