The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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