Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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