Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
