He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
