I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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