hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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