It's just like the Real World with babies
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
