we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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