I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
