im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
