Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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