So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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