Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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