I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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