My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
