I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
