Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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