I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
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Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
