2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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