Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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