Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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