halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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