is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
