Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
