So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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