No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
