im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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