No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize