stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
