Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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