My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Randomize
