i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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