And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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