My underwear smells like fireworks.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize