Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
