Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
