I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
