i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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